Where am I?

This blog is not about an act of love but about what is on my heart. I felt like writing to God and decided to post it up so here it goes. Lord where am I? I know you are right with me, and that I am not alone. In some ways I think back to missions when I was so focused on wanting to see something tangible but at the same time doesn't feel the same.

When I was in high school I had acts of love to do everyday looking forward to serving you and your people day to day. Yet in my new environment it seems so difficult. Not only that I have no confirmation on which path I am going down, I have an ideal but still my vision is blurred.

The feeling is so weird because I am not dry, your glory is strong your love overwhelms me. Yet for some reason I feel so..contained, so weird its hard for me to explain.

I have read this letter in my bible which is a combination of scriptures goes a little something like this:

My Beloved

I know that you have become weary and feel the weight of the world on your shoulders. Come to Me and I will give you rest. Bring all your anxiety and fear to me and leave them with Me. I will keep you in perfect peace when you keep your mind on Me and trust Me. I care about you.

Know that I have given you My peace. I do not give to you as the world gives...and then takes away. So do not let your heart be troubled and do not be afraid. I will fill you with joy and peace if you will trust in Me.

Instead of dwelling on confusion and anxiety, present your concerns to Me in prayer, and be thankful. Then let your mind dwell on things that are true and noble, things that are right and pure, things that are lovely and admirable- all that is excellent and praiseworthy. And the peace you will have-My peace-you will not be able to explain to others. No one can understand it, but you can have it.

Live your life according to my instructions, and I will be with you; because I am the God of peace, My peace will stand guard over your heart and mind in Christ Jesus.

Isa 26:3; Mt 11:28; Jn 14:27; Ro 15:13; Php 4:6-9; 1Pe 5:7

Now after reading this I feel a weight lifted off me. I realized I was worrying even though I thought I wasn't, that easily I was worrying. I also realized I hadn't spoken to God about what was on my heart, something was holding me back, I'm not sure what it was.I had this feeling that made me think I had to be doing something spiritual to feel better. However this is wrong because it is not us at all but 100% God, he just chooses to use us and in the process we are also blessed.

This proves how powerful Gods word is. I encourage all of you to read your bibles, if all of our troubles just stopped and we never felt anxiety a struggle, then we would cease to pick up our bibles. Some times we want a direct answer, and that direct answer is the bible.

Honestly a couple nights ago I finished a book of the bible and I felt like I didn't know where to go next, I kind of wanted something that would apply to what I was going through, but just read. God has surprises in every books of the bible, and he will bless you in more ways than one.

Never forget:

Future Glory

¹⁸I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.